Maya / Canada / I fell for nine idiots and i can't get up/ I track |I track ughviners | Maddie + Rachel |
warnings: death, no trigger warnings, no smut
rating: pg:13 I guess idrk
The sky lit up as a flash of lighting exploded out onto the horizon, the loud rumble of the thunder following soon after. Heavy rain drops slapped against the pavement as they hit the ground, creating a rhythm that would repeat itself in my mind. The dark grey sky and heavy rain clouds take me back to a place I really don’t want to go too. Last summer was a summer I would never forget, even though I really wanted too. It was where I met him and it was where we said our final goodbyes.
I spent all of my summer last year at a camp somewhere in the middle of Australia. It wasn’t anything special; I went there every year for as long as I could remember. But this year was different, he was there and he changed everything. I remember when I first saw him; he was laughing at something someone said. His laugh was so enchanting and his smile could make even the darkest days bright. He was one of those people that everyone loved, you couldn’t not love him, he was just that lovable.
He lifted his head and glanced at me, giving me a small smile that made my head spin. “What’s your name?” He asked, snapping me out of my daze. Shit, I was staring at him; he caught me staring at him.
"Y/N." I replied. My voice was so quiet I was shocked that he could actually hear. My thoughts were spinning at 100 miles a minute. Did he find me creepy? Why was he talking to me? Is there something on my face?
"I’m Luke," He says, running his hand through his brown, blondish hair. "I couldn’t help but catch you looking at me,"
Oh shit. “Sorry about that.” You mumble.
"It’s okay Y/N; it gives me a reason to talk to you so that’s a good thing." He winks at me.
"You wanted to talk to me?"
"Well, yeah. You seem interesting."
"Is that a good thing?"
"It’s a very good thing," His friends call out to Luke in the distance, telling him to join them. “I should probably go now. I’ll see you around, okay?” You nod at him and he jogs off with his friends, leaving you wondering what was so interesting about you and why a boy like Matt thought you were interesting.
There was no way I could have known how much Lukewould impact my life at that moment, but boy, did that boy change my life. There is no way I could ever go back to that camp without thinking about him. It may seem like I’m over reacting, but you still don’t know the whole story. That summer changed everything.
The fire danced before my eyes and due to my getting distracted easily, I completely forget about the marshmallow I was roasting. I got lost in the crackling fire with its flying embers and strong smoke that would stay in my hair and clothes for days.
"Y/N! It’s burning! You’re burning it!" One of my friends screams out at me, I honestly can’t remember who it was, not even their name, but that’s not important.
I jump an inch off the log and immediately pull back the poor, now very black marshmallow. I throw the burnt pile of mush onto the ground and sit back down on the log. I am not someone you should trust with marshmallows; I burn them 90% of the time.
A large shadow looms over me and I can feel someone’s weight rest onto the log. “Would you like me to make you a marshmallow?” Without even looking at the person, I know it’s Luke.
"That’d be nice if you don’t mind. Marshmallows hate me."
Luke pokes a few marshmallows on the stick and begins roasting them. “It’s not that they hate you, you’re just probably too hot for them to handle, so they burn.” He says cheekily, smiling at me.
"Smooth Luke, smooth." I giggle.
"So Y/N, let’s get to know each other." He hands me my marshmallow and I look at him.
"What do you want to know?"
"True, just tell me things you think I should know."
"I’m clumsy, I have two older brothers, I live in Adelaide and I like turtles and singing. Your turn."
"I like to make people laugh, I have an older brother and a sister, I live in Sydney, I’m in a band and I like giraffes."
"You’re in a band?"
"Yes. You sing?"
"Yes. I’ll be sure to check out some of your music when I get the chance. What did you say was your bands name?"
"I actually didn’t say, it’s 5 Seconds of Summer and in that case you better let me here you sing before the summer ends."
"If you get lucky, you might."
"I’m already lucky. You’re talking to me and that makes me pretty lucky."
"Again, smooth. You’re just king of smooth chat up lines."
We were flirting, it was very obvious. But there was something beneath all that flirting, not lust, not even love. Even to this day I can’t seem to figure out what it was; I just know it was there. I know it seems like a stupid, cliché, summer relationship, (you know, you fall in love, spend the summer, then never see each other again, the typical movie summer camp scenario), but this isn’t that. This was different. The story’s only gets started.
I spent most of my time with Luke. Every day we would go for walks, or go swimming or just talk by the lake, no matter what we did, it was great. There was never a dull moment with Luke.
The sky was lit up with a million stars. The beauty of being away from the city was that the stars were really bright; there were no city lights or smog to dim their brightness. “There’s the big dipper,” Luke says, pointing towards some random stars. “Do you see it?”
"No." I sigh, concentrating on the cluster of stars Luke was pointing to.
"Look," He says, tilting my head to the left, "There’s the handle and if you follow that line, you’ll see the actual pot."
"I still don’t see it, Luke."
"You will, maybe not now, but you will."
He reaches over towards me, gently grabbing my hand. I can feel his hand envelop mine, as if I were a baby. “You have soft hands.” He states, gently rubbing the pad of this thumb against my skin.
"What can I say? I moisturize." I giggle. I can hear him laugh, making me smile almost instantly.
"I’m sure you do."
I fell asleep in his arms that night and many nights after. It became routine that every night we would set out a blanket and stare at the stars, and almost every night I would fall asleep and he would carry me to my cabin, kissing my forehead every night.
I missed his soft kisses and his arms around me, I missed everything about him. My nights with Luke were the best nights of that entire summer, nothing could compare to the feeling Luke provided me when he was around. I felt nothing but absolute bliss.
The summer was almost ending and I was definitely not looking forward to its ending. I wanted to stay with Luke forever; little did I know that even if I wanted to be with Luke forever, it was absolutely impossible.
Dark skies and rain clouds covered the night sky, preventing us from doing our nightly star gazing. Luke’s arms were wrapped tightly around my waist as we watched the rain from the safety of my cabin. Even with the roaring thunder and flashing lightning, I felt safe with Luke. Nothing could hurt me, even the raging storm.
The rain eventually stopped and the sky was clear again. Luke suggested we go for a walk. I regret saying yes.
The ground was wet and muddy, making it hard to walk without falling flat on my ass. But we made it work. We walked hand in hand through the forest, the now shining stars lighting our way. “I’m going to miss this.” Luke sighs.
"Me too," I whisper, resting my head on his shoulder, "We can always meet up somewhere; this doesn’t have to be the end."
"It won’t be the end; I promise you that this is not the end."
Little did Luke know what the future had in store for him. His choice of words turned out to be really ironic, you’ll see why.
The familiar sound of the churning river bellowed not too far from us. We crossed this river on a daily basis, it was nothing difficult. The rain elevated its water levels, but we thought nothing of it. After all, it’s just water, right?
"Ready?" Luke asks, preparing himself for the small jump across the river.
"This isn’t long jump in the Olympics, Luke, just jump." You teased and he smirked at you.
"I’d say it’s Olympic worthy."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"You’ll be sorry when I’m in the Olympic hall of fame."
"Whatever you say Luke. Now hurry up."
I really wish I didn’t rush him; this entire walk was a bad idea. We shouldn’t have gone.
He takes a few steps back before dashing off towards the river. His foot just touches the other side of the river bank before he loses his footing and crashes down into the churning river.
"Luke!" I scream out, lunging towards the river.
My heart pounds in my chest, I can’t seem to get a grip of things. Worst case scenarios play in my mind. As the minutes pass, I get more and more worried. My mind is slowly starting to take over my body.
I frantically search for any sight of him, anything at all, but I find nothing. It seems as if the river swallowed him whole, leaving nothing of him behind. He’s gone, and it’s all my fault.
The last thing I remember was racing back to camp to find a counselor. The police were called, they asked me questions. I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t smile for the rest of the summer.
Luke was gone, and i’m the one to blame. If I just said no to the walk or I didn’t rush him, he would be here. He would be beside me, laughing and breathing and alive, not floating, lifeless somewhere along the riverbank. I might as well have killed him, I killed Luke.
I hated funerals, I hated the colour black, I hated myself. I slipped into the black dress that I had hidden somewhere in the back of my closet, I didn’t bother with makeup. Who cares how I looked, Luke was gone, my appearance was not exactly a top priority. It felt too soon for a funeral.
The funeral home was stuffy and hot. There were so many people packed into that tight room. Luke was loved by so many people and because of me, they can’t love him anymore. How can his parents even look at me knowing that I killed their son. So many tears were shed that day, almost everyone was crying, everyone except me. It felt like I had no more tears to cry. I was all cried out.
My parents looked at me like I was broken. I didn’t leave my room for months. The guilt was killing me, I missed Luke so much. My parents thought it would be a good idea for me to see a therapist, so I did. It didn’t help, I cried every time I talked about Matt. I couldn’t handle it. Eventually, my therapist decided to give me some drugs to help with my “pain”. Unless the drugs could give me back Matt, they would be useless.
I shut the blinds, not wanting to watch the rain anymore. Rain always made me sad, I couldn’t help but remember that night. I know I have to get over him, but I just can’t, not now anyways. I just wish that he was with me, telling me that everything would be alright, but he wasn’t and he never will be. I loved him, I loved Luke Hemmings, and now, I could never tell him.
The pain wore off over a period of time. I slowly got better, but the pain of missing Luke never left me.
p.s, I took this from my other blog, ughviners, I don’t use it anymore but I don’t want my imagines to go to waste so i’ll be reposting some of them as 5sos imagines
I’m going to be taking most of my imagines and changing the names so I can post them to fallenforbands k bye
thank you :)
um (idk who’s famous or who isn’t soz)
We the undersigned Palestinian individuals and groups express our solidarity with the family of Michael Brown, a young unarmed black man gunned down by police on August 9th in Ferguson, Missouri. We wish to express our support and solidarity with the people of Ferguson who have taken their struggle to the street, facing a militarized police occupation.
From our families bleeding in streets of Gaza, Hebron, Jenin, Jerusalem; from the Zionist prisons overflowing with our political prisoners; from our endless refugee camps, ghettos and Bantustans; from our indigenous people living as second-class citizens in what became “Israel” in 1948, and our dislocated diaspora: We send you our commitment to stand with you in your hour of pain and time of struggle against the oppression that continues to target our black brothers and sisters in nearly every aspect of their lives.
We understand your moral outrage. We understand your hurt and anger. We understand your impulse to burn the infrastructure of a racist capitalist system that systematically pushes you to the margins of humanity; we support your right to rebel in the face of injustice.
And we stand with you.
The disregard and disrespect for black bodies and black life is endemic to the white supremacist system that rules the land. Your struggles through the ages have been an inspiration to us as we fight daily for the most basic human dignities in our own homeland against the racist Zionist regime that considers us less human. As we navigate our own struggle against colonialism, ethnoreligious supremacy, capitalism and tyranny, we find inspiration and strength from your struggles and your revolutionary leaders, like Malcolm X, Huey Newton, Kwame Ture, Angela Davis, Fred Hampton, Bobby Seale and others.
We honor the life of Michael Brown, cut short less than a week before he was due to begin university. And we honor the far too many black lives who were killed in similar circumstances, motivated by racism and contempt for black life: John Crawford, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, Tarika Wilson, Malcolm Ferguson, Renisha McBride, Amadou Diallo, Yvette Smith, Oscar Grant, Sean Bell, Kathryn Johnston, Rekia Boyd and too many others to count.
With a Black Power fist in the air, we salute the people of Ferguson and join in your demands for justice.
want a part four? send me a message
"Mikey," She sighs, taking a step towards me. "I do forgive you, I honestly do but I can’t get back together with you. Believe me when I say that I have missed you so fucking much and that I do still love you, I just can’t trust you as much as I used too."
"That’s fine. All I want is you back in my life. I can’t live without you." I notice a small smile creeps up on her face.
"Consider us friends, Clifford." She pulls me in for a tight yet brief hug. "We should probably go, the boys are waiting." I give her a nod and she skips off to the living room.
I will do anything to earn her trust, no matter what I have to do, she will trust me again. I don’t care how long it takes. She’s my everything.
We walked back into the living room as if nothing had ever happened between us. As if we had suddenly become new people. The thick, awkward and tense aura that had once filled the room had disappeared and all problems and past differences seemed to have either vanished or were simply well hidden beneath the seemingly real smiles we wore on our faces.
She plops herself down beside Ashton and motions for me to sit on the other side of her. The boys exchanged several glances with one another, eyebrows raised and mouths set in smirks, not being subtle about it in the slightest. “So, you two back together?” Calum asks, clearly stating what was on the minds of the three boys.
"No," She replies firmly, her gaze locked on Calum. "But we have decided to put the past behind us and move on as friends. That’s all we are, friends.” I nod my head, assuring the boys that her words were in fact correct.
Yes, friends. All we are is friends. Even though this was the agreement we came too, the word still lingering in the ear, ringing in my ears. I didn’t like how that sounded. Friends. I want to be more than that. I want to be able to call her mine once more, I want her. If starting off as friends once again is what it takes to re-establish the relationship we once had than I am more than willing to be her friend.
"Good for you two, sortin’ out your issues like grown people." Ashton comments, kissing Y/N’s temple. Y/N smiles and claps her hands, "So, how does Scott Pilgrim VS the World sound?” She looks at Calum with her puppy dog eyes and holds out the DVD case in an attempt to steer the boy away from Avengers.
We used to watch Scott Pilgrim weekly, along with Juno and Youth In Revolt. She loved those movies. We would cuddle up on the couch, order a pizza and watch movies until we would fall asleep. Oh, God, I miss that. I miss her. One day, we’ll get back to the way we were.
I took the pizza box and quickly tossed the delivery man some money, shutting the door behind him. “Was that the pizza?” She asks from her spot on my couch and I yell back a yes before breaking into a jog in order to get to her faster. Saying I was eager to be beside her once more was an understatement, I didn’t even want to go get the door because I didn’t want to leave her.
Tossing the box down onto the coffee table, I throw myself down beside her. “What’re we watching?” I mumble, already reaching for a pizza slice. I serve her first before taking one for myself.
She looks at me with a sheepish grin. “Scott Pilgrim?” I groan jokingly and she punches my arm. “Again?” I deadpan, staring directly into her eyes.
"Yep," She says, popping the p. "Unless you want to watch the Breakfast Club." She quirks an eyebrow at me and smirks. "Scott Pilgrim it is." I sigh in defeat, leaning in to her body.
She takes a bite of the pizza and tosses her head back, a slight moan escaping her lips. “Have I ever mentioned how much I love pizza?” I chuckle and nod my head, “Only every day of your life.”
"Do you blame me, Michael? Pizza is like heaven on earth! Pizza is better than sex!" She exclaims and I gasp.
"Better than sex? Are you sure about?"
"Okay, maybe I was exaggerating, but in the chart of best things ever pizza would be right after sex. Just sayin’."
"So, speaking of sex," I lean into the crook of her neck, pressing wet kisses against the soft flesh, eliciting a groan from her. "Michael, no," She states, pushing me away from her. "We’re friends, remember? And friends don’t have sex."
"Right, we’re just friends.” I mutter, diverting my attention to the all too familiar movie.
"Are you guys sure you don’t want to come with us?" I ask once more, paying more attention to Y/N than to Ashton.
"We’re just gonna stay here and watch a few movies." Y/N says, taking a sip of her water.
"You guys go. Have fun and be careful! Oh and Luke is the designated driver," Ashton says, earning a groan from the tall blond. "We’ll see you all in the morning, hopefully." Ashton adds with a wink.
"See ya later, Ash, Y/N." Calum says, heading out the door with Luke in tow. I was just about to follow when Y/N calls me. "Mikey! Before you go there is one thing I want to ask you."
"There’s this guy," She starts off and I can feel the smile fall from my face. "We met at EB Games a few weeks ago and he asked me out on a date tomorrow."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"I just wanted to make sure it’s okay with you."
"Okay with me? Why wouldn’t it be? I have no say in who you date or go out with! I’m just your friend! Go on your little date, see if I care!” I snap, my tone harsher than intended.
She frowns and shakes her head. “I will not be the one patting your back when you’re hunched over the toilet bowl in the morning, Michael. Have fun at your stupid club.” She grumbles, storming off towards Ashton. He gives me a sympathetic look before following Y/N into the living room.
A date? She’s going on a date? You know what, I don’t give a fuck. We’re just friends. She can date and she can fuck whoever the hell she wants and guess what, so can I.
That’s how I ended up leading some busty blonde up the steps of my apartment after having one too many shots of tequila. I was right back to where I started several months ago, drunk in bed with some girl who’s name I don’t even know whilst Y/N consumes my every thought.
The sun shines through the blinds, worsening my already violent headache. Groaning, I run my hand through my hair, the churning of my stomach forcing me out of bed and onto the cool bathroom floor. Y/N’s words echo in my ears. "I will not be the one patting your back when you’re hunched over the toilet bowl in the morning, Michael." I probably shouldn’t have been so rude but what was I supposed to do? The love of my love was going to go on a bloody date with someone who wasn’t me and I just can’t handle that. Oh, God, I’m an idiot.
"Where’d ya go, Mikey?" A giggle erupts from the bedroom and I cautiously go to her. She’s sitting up, her chest bare and hair a mess with an array of hickey’s covering her neck and breasts. "You should go." I state grimly. I wasn’t mad at the girl, what does she know, I was mad at myself.
She quickly gathers her belongings and sprints out the door. I felt bad for her, but I felt worse for myself. If Y/N finds out about this we would be right back to where we started.
As soon as she leaves, someone knocks on the door. Thinking she forgot something, I quickly swing the door open, wanting to be done with her. “Who was that?” Y/N stands at the door, looking as confused as ever. My chest tightens and I can feel my throat getting dry.
"She, I, she was nothing." I choke out, not knowing what to say.
"You hooked up with her?" I nod, not wanting to make eye contact with the beautiful girl standing in front of me.
"So, did you want anything?"
"I was going to come over and apologize. I don’t know why I thought I had to apologize, I didn’t do anything wrong! I wanted to see if you wanted to go out tonight but ya know, I think I’m going to call back James and tell him that I would be more than happy to go out with him tonight."
"I don’t see why you’re angry."
"Michael! We broke up because you cheated on me! Do you not recall? And now you go and hook up with some random slut after we have a petty argument!”
"Why do you care who I hook up with! We are just friends!"
"I asked you if I could go out on a date and you go hook up with some girl. I can’t believe you! What part of building trust don’t you understand? How am I supposed to trust you?"
"Maybe the problem here isn’t me, Y/N! Maybe it’s you and your overreacting! You overreact to everything!"
Word vomit. Word vomit was leaking from my mouth like a leaking faucet and I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to be angry with her, I knew it was my fault
"Fuck you, Michael Clifford. Fuck, you." And with that she stormed away and drove off, leaving me to deal with my miserable self.
What the fuck did I do.
* = smut
H e m m i n g s
I r w i n
C l i f f o r d
H o o d
p r e f e r e n c e s
#6 When You Have A Bad Day (with gifs)
#7 He’s Sick (with gifs)
#9 Night Time
#10 Cute Moments (with gifs)
#12 Tattoos (In Honor of the glorious event)
#16 First Date
#17 He’s Sick (longer version)
#19 You’re Sick (longer version)
#24 Your Dad Catches You (mature) written by anon
#26 You Surprise Him On Tour (Luke)
#27 He Cooks For You
#31 Insecure Michael/
#32 Engagement Tweets (With Photos)
#33 'Happy Birthday'
#34 'I'm Scared'
#36 Hickeys O_O
#38 Rainy Days
#40 First Sightings
#41 Staying The Night
#44 You Get Caught
#45 Snow Day
#48 Tour Fun